First, some good search-engine-hit news: the “reign of the bikini”:http://www.polytropos.org/archives/000266.html is over. Google Images, apparently, takes about six months to catch up with the fact that a particular image is no longer on your server. Overall site traffic has plummeted, but at least now the numbers more accurately represent people actually coming to _read_ stuff.

On to this month’s unusual search strings . . .

*coolest name ever* — Inexplicably, Polytropos is ranked #4 for this phrase, as a result of a total throwaway entry, to boot.

*spider-man 2 landlord daughter* — [UPDATE: It has been pointed out to me that, seeing as the preceding searching string is “_landlord_ daughter”, it has nothing whatsoever to do with all the comments that follow. Those comments are still accurate, and some might find them interesting, but are a complete and utter nonsequitur.] Aha! Apparently I’m not the only person who wondered whether she was meant to be a reference to someone in the Marvel Universe. I thought maybe when her mother picked her up she said her name, but in a comment on “my review”:http://www.polytropos.org/archives/000462.html, Snizzler clears that up:

The mother was speaking Mandarin when Spidey gave back the girl. She said, “Woa duh hi zi”, meaning “My baby”.

*dylan man in the long black coat metaphor* — Well, it ain’t _that_ hard. He’s death or the devil, possibly in the guise of a preacher. There’s some wiggle room there, but he’s no emperor of ice cream.

*we have returned to claim the pyramids* — Welcome, alien masters! Sadly, our kind do not communicate with each other by submitting searches to Google, though it’s a perfectly understandable mistake. I’d give you the phone number of our President, but I recommend waiting a few months. Preemption and all that.

*where do they have strongbow cider on tap?* — Not enough places, that’s for sure.

*taping a show but watching another* — This search string seems innocuous enough, but when you think about it it points to something significant: somewhere out there is somebody who is confused about how to perform this particular task, and yet is computer savvy enough to do an online search for an answer. They know their computer better than their VCR.

*werewolves miller’s crossing* — I’m pretty sure there weren’t any in the movie, though it would explain an awful lot about The Dane.