(sung to the tune of “Another Saturday Night”)

Another diverted flight ‘cause my name’s on a watchlist
I just got busted by the TSA
Oh how I wish I’d just stayed home in London
We’re goin’ to Bangor, Maine

I used to be a singer
Creator of such pleasant sounds
But ever since my conversion
Seems there’s always a diversion
On na-tion-al se-cur-i-ty grounds

CHORUS

I never funded Hamas
Those guys just get me really pissed
Though I must admit I’m guilty
For sayin’ stuff ‘bout Salman Rushdie
That don’t make me a terrorist

CHORUS

The thing that really bugs me:
Can I be all that big of a threat?
When there’s cold cats like Osama
Or lib-e-rals like B. Obama
That George Bush would much rather get

Oo! Aah!

Another diverted flight ‘cause my name’s on watchlist
I just got busted by the TSA
Oh how I wish I’d just stayed home in London
We’re goin’ to Bangor, ooh, we’re goin’ to Bangor
Landin’ in Bangor, ooh, we’re goin’ to Bangor
Welcome to Bangor, we’re here in Bangor, Maine