Monthly Archives: November 2003

The Congressional Game

The House Republicans have played fast and loose with the floor rules in order to get their “Medicare bill passed”:http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/11/22/elec04.medicare/index.html. They kept the voting open for three hours, applied pressure to some of the GOP members who were voting against it, and then slammed the gavel down before enough Democrats could switch their votes to “no” and keep it down.

Rep. Steny Hoyer of Maryland, the No. 2 Democrat in the House, bellowed from the floor that Republicans had abused the system.

“Just like on Election Day you can’t keep the ballot open forever,” he said. The Republican side of the chamber responded with boos and hisses and applause for their victory.

The only thing sadder than Democrats whining about this loss is Senate Republicans whining about the filibusters that are holding their conservative judicial nominees at bay. In both cases, the side at a disadvantage is doing whatever they can to stay in the game. And the rules of Congress _are_ a game: a labrynthine network of protocols and guidelines, open for all manner of clever manipulation. It is within the power of the Congress to change those rules if they like, but until they do, any complaining about either side taking advantage of those rules as being somehow unfair or against the spirit of democracy is highly disingenuous. The complaining happens all the time, of course, but it never stops being tiresome.

If the members who didn’t get a chance to switch their votes had just voted against the bill in the first place, they wouldn’t be in this position. Last night, in the game of Congress, the Democrats got played.

Calling All Jaiwatchers!

Turns out that the infamous Jai will be “DJing at the VIP Club”:http://www.vipclubdc.com/ tonight. This is a perfect opportunity for the anti-Jai masses to speak out against the tiresome mediocrity that is his _Queer Eye_ performance. Unfortunately, I have plans tonight. Plus, it would take a small fortune in wardrobe and body work expenses to get me to the point where the bouncers would even let me in. So I’m putting the call out: if you’re in D.C. and ain’t got nuthin’ to do tonight, stalk Jai for me! At _least_ get some entertaining anecdotes about his pathetic DJing skills and I’ll put them up on the blog.

Rating Quarters

Lore Sjoberg (I’m too lazy to hunt for the umlaut code) is at his best with the most recent installment to the Book of Ratings: “State Quarters, Part 5”:http://www.bookofratings.com/. Go read ’em all, but here’s Arkansas:

Rice. A diamond. A duck. A lake. I feel like the Arkansas quarter shows the possible answers to some demented multiple choice question the Devil keeps in his ass. If you put photographs of those things in front of me and asked what they had in common, I would boggle at them until my angry brain cut me off from reality and informed me I was now Duke of Teacup Land. I would be a wise but firm ruler to the small, breakable people of Teacup Land, living a long life and siring many strong sons who would fight over the throne even as they stood over my deathbed. Eventually I would drift off into smug death, never knowing that the answer was “Arkansas.” D+

Hell Yeah!

“Here’s a trailer”:http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/hellboy/ for the upcoming “Hellboy”:http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0167190/ movie. (Based on the “comic”:http://www.hellboy.com/, for those who don’t know.) Abe Sapien looks great, Ron Perlman looks perfect for Hellboy himself. And — checking IMDB — that’s John Hurt as Prof. Bruttenholm! Thought he sounded familiar. Only complaint: why oh why do they have to insert the strapping young new guy, through-whose-eyes-we-can-be-introduced-to-everything? It’s a tired device. Movie looks very groovy, though.

Hat tip to loyal reader Michael Thomas, whose links I am happy to channel until he gets off his butt and starts his own blog.

UPDATE: I changed the link to the official movie site, where you can view it in Quicktime. Much nicer. Thanks to “Evil Genius Chronicles”:http://www.evilgeniuschronicles.org/cgi-bin/blosxom.cgi.

Channel Seventy-Four

A typical Thursday night at Polytropos HQ. At 9:45, I got back from yoga, and entered the apartment to find Suanna sitting on the futon with the laptop, checking email. I made myself a bowl of soup, sat down next to her, and turned on the TV so I could aimlessly channel surf while I scarfed down my late supper.

“This is one downside to “losing cable”:http://www.polytropos.org/archives/000160.html,” I mentioned offhandedly. “There’s not hardly any channels to surf through any more.”

And it’s true. Everybody has their guilty TV pleasure: that one type of show that can easily gobble up fifteen minutes of your time as you sit there, transfixed. My own particular weakness in this regard is infomercials — especially ones with snazzy hosts and “live” studio audiences. For others, it’s Animal Planet, soap operas in Spanish, or the infinite variations on home improvement reality TV on the Learning Channel. In any case, without cable, the chances of finding something sufficiently transfixing were suddenly quite slim.

I cycled up the channels, skipping past the sitcoms, pausing momentarily on the catastrophe du jour of _ER_, and soon found the numbers making leapfrog jumps from channel 26 to 34 to sixtysomething: the odd flotsam and jetsam that you get when you’re signed up for “bare-bones” cable. CSPAN was in there, of course, and some sort of local government meeting, and a NASA learning channel. Then we hit Channel 74.

Two people in skin-tight spandex were energetically wrestling on a colorful mat. But something didn’t seem quite right — they weren’t big and beefy like pro wrestlers. Then I caught a glimpse of something that it took at few seconds to process, simply because I didn’t expect to see it on broadcast television in the middle of prime time. One of the wrestlers was a buxom woman, you see, and she was completely topless. I think I was saying something to that effect to Suanna — “Huh. She’s not wearing a shirt.” — when the woman succeeded in pinning the man to the floor and, with a triumphant flourish, whisked off his spandex shorts, revealing, with nary a shadow or obscured camera angle, his unmentionables.

This is when I changed the channel.

“What channel _was_ that?” Suanna asked.

“Oh, I’m not telling _you_ ,” I joked. “You’ll get up in the middle of the night to watch that stuff while I’m sleeping.”

I just went to check up on ol’ Channel 74 again — purely for blog research purposes, you understand — and I saw . . . more wrestling. But with clothed, bulky guys this time — rednecks, in a ring fully stocked with assorted wooden furniture, the easier to bash each other’s heads with, I suppose. Not, however, any nekkidness. I guess it’s a wrestling channel.

How utterly bizarre.

UPDATE: Down in the comments, Greg clarifies what is (probably) going on here.

A Hard Drive Scare

Most Polytropizing gets done on the trusty laptop, but it’s the desktop PC that’s a labor of love: a cobbled-together mishmash of parts acquired hither and yon, from 1 to 5 years old. (She’s got it where it counts, Kessel Run, you get the idea.) There was a brief scare today, as the second hard drive on the desktop crashed completely, after which point the main one decided to become invisible to the BIOS for a while. I yanked both hard drives out, in order to . . . I dunno, look at them sternly or something. The diciest moment was when I got the main drive working again while it was balanced precariously on the corner of the open computer case, and quickly backed up all the data that I hadn’t already to the laptop via wireless.

I originally suspected that both drives had gone kerfluffle and were making the Harsh Clicking Sound of Death. But now I’m not so sure. The second drive is definitely dead, but it was getting on in years to begin with, so I’m not surprised. I could have sworn I heard clicking from the newer drive as well, but now it’s behaving very nicely. I put everything back together and the whole computer is purring — even the front case fan has stopped being quite so noisy. It’s quiet: _too_ quiet. Perhaps the rest of the internal components were sufficiently frightened by the lightning extraction of the offending hard drive that they’ll be cowed into obedience for a while. Then again, they might be plotting _revolution_. I’ll be on my guard.

More RPG Ramblings

Ed Heil “picks up”:http://ed.puddingbowl.org/archives/001450.html his ongoing discussion of RPGs and semiotics with a simple but important distinction:

The thing that distinguishes roleplaying games from, say, chess, wargaming, or Monopoly, is that in chess, wargaming, or Monopoly, you can imagine that what’s going on is really events in an imaginary world, you can talk about it that way, but those talked-about events in an imaginary world can’t reach out and mess with the game rules — the game proceeds according to the rules quite independently of those discussions about what’s happening in the imaginary world. In a role-playing game, the rule-bound game-play accepts input from the purely verbal world description. It’s designed to.

I love this distinction because it gets, in a nutshell, what makes story in RPGs so different from other types of games. Even in a computer RPG, you may experience the narrative, and even shape it to the extent that the game allows for multiple paths and endings, but your experience and perception of the narrative will never ever reflect back onto the game itself. A roleplaying game is the only type of game where story is more than frosting.

Ed ends with a couple of questions that I’ll pick up on here. An apology and a warning in advance: all of what follows is in Rambling Mode.

1) How do different RPGs differ in the way entities that have been posited verbally are clothed with game statistics? Is there any kind of typology of games according to how this is accomplished?

I’ll address only a subset of this question: how RPGs differ in handling ad-hoc modifications of rules. The first big distinction that leaps to mind is the extent to which player verbal input can _modify_ the game world or actively _shape_ it. In just about every RPG, there’s some sort of mechanism for modifying dice rolls based on lively description. If you roleplay your passionate speech beautifully, the GM gives you a +2 on your Diplomacy check. A colorful description of _how_ you attack the goblin gives you +1 on attack. The extent to which these thing can affect the game varies — in D&D it’s never more than a +2 bonus on a 20-sided die, so it’s pretty minor. _Sorcerer_ makes such modifiers so important that it’s hard to succeed in the game, mechanics-wise, without them.

In most games, player input is limited to modifying the world. Players have complete autonomy over the behavior of their characters, but none over anything else, except in minor situations. (Player: “Is the innkeeper there? I want to ask him something.” GM: “Sure, he’s there.”)

Then you have games where the players’ verbal input can actually create objects, situations, and even characters in the game world. The earliest example I can think of is the old James Bond RPG by Victory Games. In that game you had Hero Points, which you could spend to increase success or reduce failure in dice rolls. But you could also spend them to create situations beneficial for your character, like making sure there’s a convenient baseball bat in the trunk of the car, or that the storefront has a cloth awning to break your fall. The extreme of this type would be a game like _Donjon_, where player input is integral to the mechanics, not just a rule added to the side for rare situations. Even further along you have storytelling games like _Universalis_ or Ed’s own _Topos_, but at that point I’d say we’ve moved from RPGs to Something Else.

So I guess we could categorize player input in terms of Extent (modify vs. actively create) and Potency (side rule with minor effect on mechanics vs. happens all the time and integral to the game rules).

2) Does it always have to be the GM who is responsible for this, or can/should the players share in this power?

I assume Ed means the power to _adjudicate_ rules changes arising from verbal description, since obviously both the GM and the players can describe situations that require adjudication. To the extent that players share in this power, the distinction between them and the GM blurs; at the far end of that spectrum you have storytelling games like those mentioned above. Is there a point to a distinction between RPGs and STGs? I think so — they are, ultimately, very different experiences. In an RPG you, as a player, have a single role to focus on, and a sense of the rest of the game world being outside of your control. Sure, the guy who controls it may just be Bob who inhabits the next cubicle at work, but still, in a traditional RPG there’s a tension created from a dual sense of power and helplessness: I’m completely in control of my character, but _anything_ could happen. This tension is a valuable part of the roleplaying experience, and it is lost in a game like _Universalis_ where all the players have equal stake in adjudicating the game world. It is replaced by other tensions and advantages, to be sure, not least of which is a greater likelihood that the output of a game session will form a coherent, pleasing narrative.

There are lots of fruitful grey areas along the spectrum of player control. There’s “troupe-style” play — that’s the _Ars Magica_ term for it — where all players are co-GMs when it comes to establishing the basic setting, but in any given session only one person will be creating and running the adventure. (This is how the superhero game I’m currently involved with is run. Even my D&D game has two DMs trading off responsibilities.) There’s tools like “Storypath Cards”:http://www.rpg.net/news+reviews/reviews/rev_0800.html. And in a lot of gaming groups there’s an informal, unquantified dynamic whereby player suggestions can shape the game world, like when a player may briefly take the role of an NPC to lighten the burden on the GM and provide a bit of variety.

Intuitively, I prefer roleplaying games to storytelling games. I think it’s because the traditional players-and-GM framework creates clear expectations on both sides of the equation. In a storytelling game, where everyone’s on equal footing, the process is less like a game and more like co-writing, which, absent just the right mix of creative personalities, can be downright grueling. I also suspect that your average mix of players includes some people who crave storytelling power (the GM-types) and others who have less interest in worrying about the Big Story, and appreciate the narrow focus (and close identification) that comes of having to only worry about their character. Being co-responsible for the totality of a story seems to me to be much more difficult than either playing a single character or being a neutral arbiter for non-player characters and the rest of the setting.

So, getting back to the question — the players _can_ share in the GM’s power, but the more they do this, the more gameplay changes in significant ways, and it might not be everybody’s cup of tea. That level of input from players certainly should not be considered obligatory or integral to a traditional RPG.

Looking back over all this, I think I may have tangented off of Ed’s original points more than I intended. C’est la vie.

UPDATE: The previous sentence has proved entirely correct — I had a feeling I was tangenting, and I was. Ed comments down in the comments to this entry, and “here”:http://ed.puddingbowl.org/archives/001454.html. I’ll pick up discussion down in the comments as well.

Jaiwatch Part IV: The End of Jaiwatch?

I have some very bad news. Many of you have commended me for my strong stand against Jai of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”:http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/ and my public calls for him to be removed from the show. Sometimes it’s hard to know just how one man can make a difference in the world, but when I first saw Jai I knew that someone had to speak out, and that I was going to be the one to do it. I feel that my campaign is really only getting off the ground, but now it looks as if it may be cut short all too soon. You see, I no longer have access to cable television, including Bravo, and so I’m no longer able to watch the show.

This is not particularly surprising, in that Polytropos HQ does not _pay_ for cable television. As I’ve noted, my long drama with the cable company ended in total victory, with HQ getting all the standard channels while only paying for the bare-bones “basic cable.” But now, it seems, some work order has made its way through the bureaucratic morass, and a switch somewhere has been thrown. It’s possible that the sudden loss of all but the broadcast channels is an anomaly that will reverse itself, but I doubt it.

I can count the reasons I will miss cable on two fingers: “Jon Stewart”:http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thedailyshowwithjonstewart/ and Queer Eye. It’s a small deal in the greater scheme of things, but it does mean that this blog will have to cease providing a valuable public service. If you read this, and you live in Metro D.C., and you will be taping the show anyway, let me know if I can borrow said tapes, and I will continue the Jaiwatch in glorious bursts of passionate critique. But I don’t think I’m going to ask anyone to tape the show just for my sake, because that would be . . . what’s the word I’m looking for? . . . pathetic. (From the balcony: “Too late!” Just had to say it before Malcolm could put it in the comments.)

And so, for what may be the final Jaiwatch segment, I have a surefire test involving the Fab Five. Ladies, let’s say you’ve just met this guy at “Iota”:http://www.iotaclubandcafe.com/ and he’s positively _dreamy_, but you’re not sure if he’s a classy “metrosexual”:http://www.wordspy.com/words/metrosexual.asp or if he’s straight-up gay, as it were. You’re lookin’ for love tonight, not somebody to go shoe-shopping with, so it’s fairly important. How do you find out in no time flat with a minimum of fuss? Simple. Ask the gent this question:

“Who’s your favorite cast member of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?”

Then refer to the following chart:

|*response*|*meaning*|
|”What the f*** are you talking about?”|Not gay.|
|”Ted”|Definitely not gay.|
|”Kyan”|If pronounced ‘KAI-en’, not gay, otherwise inconclusive but tending towards gay.|
|”Thom”|Inconclusive, unless pronounced in any way that clearly distinguishes it from ‘Tom’, in which case, definitely gay.|
|”Jai”|Both gay and a poor judge of character.|
|”Carson”|Either a straight guy posing as a gay guy, or clinically insane, or both.|

Baum and Bryan Get Snarked

It’s one of those persistent memes: “The Wizard of Oz is actually a political allegory about monetary reform and the gold standard.” I’ve often heard it without trusting it, but never really knew a whole lot about who first said it, what it meant exactly, or to what extent it was accurate. Steve Cook of Snarkout “comes to the rescue”:http://www.snarkout.org/archives/2003/11/16/, as is his wont, with an informative essay full of stuff you didn’t realize you were curious about until you read it. Good stuff.

What’s the Buzz on Your Birthday?

You can now “view the cover of TIME Magazine”:http://www.time.com/time/magazine/coversearch from any week of its existence, including the obvious choice: that of your birthday. Hat tips to “Eve Tushnet”:http://eve-tushnet.blogspot.com/ and “Slacktivist”:http://slacktivist.typepad.com/.

My natal TIME cover is “Jesus Christ Superstar Rocks Broadway”:http://www.time.com/time/magazine/archive/covers/0,16641,1101711025,00.html. The funny thing is that I have that Broadway soundtrack memorized backwards and forwards — as a kid it was one of the records from my parents’ collection that I listened to addictively. (The other big one was Don McLean’s _American Pie_, also, coincidentally, released in 1971.) JCS still holds up, as far as I’m concerned, though in general I’m neither a Webber nor a Sondheim fan, but someone who dislikes musicals. (“Sorry, Glen.”:http://www.engel-cox.org/iArchives/001353.html#001353 ) I don’t sing in the shower often, but when I do, as often as not I’m singing “Pilate’s Dream” or “King Herod’s Song.” That’s a little disturbing when you think about it, but not anywhere near as disturbing as “Jesus Christ Superstar: A Resurrection”:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000018CA/102-6404086-5324915?v=glance, featuring Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls in the role of Jesus. My friend “Chad”:http://www.locustwind.com/blog/ lent me that CD once, but I have since forgiven him.